Friday, December 29, 2017

For Anne Lise

When I moved to Oslo in 2009 on diplomatic assignment, the Embassy's housing office placed me in an apartment on the regal Gyldenløves gate (golden lion street).  My upstairs neighbor was a petite older woman named Anne Lise, and she was nice to me from the start, often stopping to chat in the stairwell or waving to me in the neighborhood.  As time passed, I got to know Anne Lise better as well as the rest of my neighbors.  We did dugnad (periodic cleaning and maintenance of the apartment grounds) together a few times a year.  We had an annual party around the lighting of the Christmas tree behind our building.  We all knew each other and got along.

Enjoying the sense of community I felt with my neighbors, I decided one day to host a dinner party for everyone in the building.  I printed out invitations and slipped one in each mailbox.  There were less than ten families in the building, so a dinner would be a significant undertaking but not impossible.  On the invitations I had distributed, I had requested an RSVP.  Receiving no responses, however, I woke up on the day of the party and cooked as if everyone was coming.  I knew that wouldn't be the case, of course, but I assumed at least some people would show up.

With all the cooking and tidying up finished, and the hour of the party drawing near, I nervously waited for my guests to arrive.  Right on time, there was a knock at the door.  It was Anne Lise, standing with a bowl of berries.  As we enjoyed some appetizers and waited for the other guests to arrive, it soon became apparent that no one else was coming.  Talk about embarrassment!  I had one guest and enough food for a small army, and I felt so foolish.

Anne Lise, realizing what had happened, was gracious as always.  I told her we could reschedule if she preferred, but she insisted that we continue with dinner.  I phoned a few friends who didn't live in our building, and once they arrived, the four of us had a lovely evening.  I learned a lesson that night, as an outsider American, that Norwegians sometimes retreat when someone comes on too strongly as I had done.  I also developed a great respect and fondness for Anne Lise.  It was that night she went from being the nice lady upstairs to being my friend.

Over the course of my three years in Oslo, we met for dinner or tea often.  We shared many stories of both of our travels around the world, and Anne Lise was always keen to hear my impressions of Norway.  I remember one of her crazy stories in which a lion attacked her fur coat in Kenya, thinking it was more of an animal than just the hide.

Anne Lise also included me in her syttende mai celebrations (Norway's National Day on May 17) which were always elegant and lively affairs.

I remember the day she told me she had been diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig's disease.  She knew the outlook was grim, and she was sad to be uprooted from her home on Gyldenløves gate in favor of a building with an elevator.  At the same time, she remained positive, presenting herself with the grace and dignity I had always known.  Not knowing what to say that day, I gave her a hug.  It would be one of our last.

I moved on to new adventures in different countries, but we kept in touch over the years.  Then, after a six-year struggle, Anne Lise passed away.

Rest in peace, friend.

13 comments:

Geoff Martineau said...

That was nice, Chris. I'm sorry for her passing.

Eleanor White said...

Chris, so sorry for your loss, but what a nice friendship! And a perfect portrait of Norwegians.

Rena said...

I’m so sorry for your loss Chris. It sounds like she was a lovely woman and friend. ❤️

Anonymous said...

Very sorry Chris. Anne Lise sounds like a wonderful person. And, I'm sure she felt the same about you. Sure love your glimpses on humanity - all over the world. Nancy

Unknown said...

So sorry Chris to lose a dear friend...great story though, thanks for sharing. God bless..Dana (PNG).

AMS said...

Very beautiful story, Chris. Hope you’re well, Antoinette

Yunei said...

It takes one to be kind to receive kindness. RIP Anne Lise. And may you Mr Call, continue to feast with neighbours for many more lovely stories to come. x

Anonymous said...

What a sweet story of a lovely lady. You are a wonderful host! I so enjoyed the dinner that you hosted in that apartment in Oslo. -Jody

Anonymous said...

Lovely lady and a lovely story.

Aldo said...

Very nice tribute, Chris!

Unknown said...

So sad, Chris to lose your dear friend. I am touched by your story. Thanks for sharing it.

Ollie and Floyd said...

Thanks so much for that post, Chris. How wonderful that you are the type of person to take the time to meet and know and appreciate the people you meet across the world. I am particularly touched that you would also take the time to think of Anne Lise and help us come to know her after her passing. My dad also died of ALS - it was a horrible "descent into darkness" as he wrote to us after he had lost the ability to speak. Having witnessed that terrible descent I can tell you that a remembrance like this pierces the darkness. I hope very much that her family is able to read your post - and if not, I encourage you to try to track them down to pass it along to them. It will be an unexpected shaft of light. I hate to get so personal, but I am really moved by your post - not just what you wrote - which was captured beautifully as always - but the mere fact that you wrote it. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

lovely, Chris - thank you.